Player: What are we going to do now? Plot hooks don’t just drop out of the sky.
DM: A winged cat with an arrow in its leg falls onto the road in front of you. There’s a scroll tied around its neck.
Player: Or maybe they do…
Cleric: I’m out of healing spells
Paladin: I’m only at 3hp, guys.
Ranger: I’ve got skill points in Heal and Profession: Prostitution. Can I kiss it better?
Fighter: Who puts hallucinogenic plants in a flower crown?
Monk: Who eats a flower crown???
Player: I roll knowledge religion on the stew!
(Frustrated) DM: It doesn’t believe in it self.
"Ooh, a picture book!"
- Blood Mountain the half-orc barbarian after being showed a book full of arcane symbols and hieroglyphics.
nothing is impossible when the pirates of the caribbean theme plays in the background
And that’s how it really happened.
Get the fuck in the corner
DM: “You press the secret switch, and two doors fold inward on the large boulder in the middle of the clearing.”
Barbarian: “Can I steal the doors?”